Two Minute Warning
by Jeanny
Summary: During 'Beneath Me', Xander has a brief and unexpected interlude.


Title: Two Minute Warning

Author: Jeanny

Spoilers: Season 7 BtVS through Beneath Me and Season 3 A:tS through Tomorrow, plus some not-very-serious spoilery speculation. 

Rating: PG

Feedback/Email: jeannygrrl@hotmail.com

Distribution: Go ahead, I don't mind, just credit me and send me an email telling me where it's going.

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel: the Series and all the characters that appear on the shows are the exclusive property of Joss Whedon, David Greenwalt. Fox, Mutant Enemy, Inc., UPN. the WB and any one else with a legal binding claim to the shows and/or characters. No copyright infringement is intended. And any dialogue borrowed from `Beneath Me' was actually written by Doug Petrie, but you already knew that. Right? I hope so.

Summary: During `Beneath Me', Xander has a brief and unexpected interlude. 

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"Oh my God," Anya repeated, staring at Spike with delight dancing in her eyes, like a child who'd discovered a new favorite toy. Xander frowned. Anya was acting strangely, even for Anya, and he really didn't like the way Spike was holding Anya's arm. The bastard was hurting her, and while he and Anya weren't together anymore, Xander would be damned if he was gonna let that-

The Bronze melted away like a sandcastle hit by a wave. A big, ultra-glowy //light in my eyes bright hurts stop// wave. When the light finally dimmed to an acceptable level, Xander found himself standing on stable but somehow shapeless and colorless ground. Suddenly dizzy, he almost fell over when someone came out of the nothing that surrounded him and grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Oof! What the..?" he muttered. A woman had wrapped her arms around him, he couldn't see her face but there was something about her that was so familiar, the scent or her hair or more likely the feeling against his chest of her- "Cordelia?"

She jumped away from him, staring up at him in disbelief and more than a little disappointment. Great, his night for that look from women he'd loved. Good to know his usual luck was holding.

"Xander? Xander Harris?"

He nodded down at her. Cordelia Chase, looking gorgeous as always and really pissed off (as always) and-

"Blonde?" he sputtered. "You're blonde? Since when?" Cordelia stared at him incredulously for a moment, then pressed her fingers to her temples, moaning like she had the mother of all headaches. Which he guessed she might, given that she was also glowing like an incandescent light bulb. "And also, as I recall, you weren't radioactive when we were dating."

"Oh. My. God. This is not happening."

"Okay," Xander willingly agreed. "I`m willing to go along with that. So, if you don't mind my asking, what is happening? Exactly?"

Cordelia shook her head, waving her hands a bit uncertainly, all the while floating a few inches off what was currently passing for the ground.

"I was trying to...I made a mistake." She bit her lip ruefully and shrugged. "These demony powers are amazing but I guess still haven't gotten the hang of some things."

Xander nodded warily.

"Ah. Demon powers. You're not gonna get veiny and destroy the world, are you?"

She gave him another patented `Xander Harris is a moron' look.

"What are you talking about?"

"What are *you* talking about?" he countered. "You're saying you brought me here...and just where is here? Wait, never mind, the thing is, you've got to send me back right now, because we kinda got a dog-eating worm monster thing going on back home right now and I need to-"

"Sorry, no time for the Monster in Review," Cordelia cut him off with a dismissive wave, all of a sudden shining even brighter. She paused, considering him thoughtfully for a moment. "Besides, that toothy worm thing - and ewww, by the way - is not your problem. According to the Powers you`ve got major trouble ahead. Big-time Hellmouthy evil." Xander put his hands reflexively in front of his face. "From beneath you it devours. Oh, wait, never mind, you won`t even remember this." Xander dropped his hands in shock, unconsciously stepping toward her. Something pushed him back and away, and the glow now seemed to surround him.

"What?" Xander cried out, forced to close his eyes as the light became unbearable. "Cordy-"

Xander blinked hard. Then again, trying to clear his vision. The Bronze finally swam back into focus but everything looked different than it had a second ago. He scanned the room, confused. Buffy had decked Spike, big surprise there, Anya was watching them, looking all scary and demony and not blonde anymore (and where had *that* thought come from?) and Nancy was...

Nowhere to be seen. Xander scanned the crowd frantically, his heart starting to pound. If she had left the Bronze...a moment later he was certain she had left, and who could blame her with the show they had all put on, airing all their dirty demon dating laundry. Mentally kicking himself for letting her out of his sight during his brief (what? zoning out? daydreaming? mental trip that he couldn't remember?), Xander called to Buffy, hoping it wasn't too late.

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Feedback would be lovely.


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